Never Again
by dudsbud101
Summary: But she has to wake up. But she wont. Never Again... This is a story about Rachel Berry's death bed, and what people have to say to her. Who comes to say goodbye... and who doesn't. Warning: Character Death
1. Chapter 1

But she's Rachel.

She's _Rachel Berry_.

She has to live.

She has to wake up.

But she won't. Never again.

But she can hear us. That's what the doctors think anyway.

So we all are sitting here, in the waiting room.

Taking turns.

Saying what we need to, giving our last goodbyes.

She's Rachel Berry.

She has to wake up.

But she won't.

Never again.


	2. Santana

I don't know why I'm here.

I really shouldn't be. I shouldn't be here.

But I am.

Because I need to be here.

There are things I have to say, truths to be told.

Something to make it seem like Rachel Berry isn't dying in vain.

But she is.

She is dying.

She's dying in vain.

She didn't tell me.

She didn't tell me that she was dying. That she had a tumor. A brain tumor.

But I guess she couldn't, I guess she couldn't of come to me.

Because I'm a bitch.

I call her names like Manhands, treasure trail, and Yentl.

Names like that broke her spirit.

Because the only person I have ever cared about is Brittany.

I don't know how to love anyone else.

So, right now, here, I'm standing in the doorway.

I'm looking at Rachel's cold, lifeless body.

So I go to her and I whisper sweet nothings.

How I was jealous, I was jealous of her.

She was going to get out of Lima.

And I never would.

I know that she's a fighter.

An annoying little fighter.

But you can only fight so hard.

You can only give so much.

So I'm crying now.

Because if this were any other situation, I would never apologize.

I would never tell her that she was better.

That she was always better than me.

So I whisper to her, that I love her.

I love her just like I love Brittany.

And no matter what.

No matter what I said.

We were always family.

So I get up, wipe my tears, and walk away.

Just as I step out of the doorway, I look back.

I look back to the girl.

The girl with the broken spirits.

The girl with the broken dreams.


	3. Tina

I don't know if I can do this.

I don't know if I can handle this.

It's all too much.

Because I never fought.

I never fought for her.

And now she's dying.

And I'm not sure if I can fight for her right to live.

So that's what I tell her.

I tell her that I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I didn't fight for you Rachel.

I'm sorry I let you die.

Because you're worth it.

And you can sing so much better than I can.

You would have sung tonight, with so much emotion.

So much more emotion than I have ever known.

And as I whisper this.

As I whisper all of these words into her ear.

I wonder, can she even hear me?

Does she even know I'm here?

Pleading with her to live.

Because I don't want to say goodbye.

I've never been good at goodbyes.

This is the worst kind, too.

And I don't know how I'm going to live without you Rachel.

Because you fought for me.

You would take slushies.

You wouldn't let them push me around.

But maybe that's because you were dying.

Because it wouldn't matter.

Then why did you fight so hard.

If you knew you wouldn't.

You knew you would never make it.

Make it to the city of lights.

I admire you Rachel.

I admire your courage.

I know you may think you were alone.

But you weren't.

You never were.

And Rachel.

Just know.

When you're up in heaven.

Years from now when we have all graduated.

Just know.

You will never be forgotten.


	4. Emma

Why God?

Why take Rachel?

_Rachel._

The one who bakes cookies for the homeless.

The only one of us who had a plan on getting out.

The only one who would escape.

Now the only one trapped, a prisoner in her own body.

So I tell her.

I tell her that I admired her.

I admired her strength.

And I admired her courage.

But somehow.

Somehow all of us loving you.

It wasn't enough.

I'm sorry Rachel.

I'm sorry our love isn't enough.

But we love you Rachel.

All of us.

And thanks.

Thanks for telling me the truth.

But somehow, now.

Now you're to skinny.

So, now you're too skinny.

Your too skinny and, and your dying.

I tell her that I don't know how to grasp it.

I don't know how.

How to wrap my head around the fact that at the end of the day.

She won't be alive.

Because she only has a few hours left.

So hold on.

Hold on with all of your strength Rachel.

Hold on so everyone can say goodbye.

You're a beautiful girl Rachel.

You really, really are.

And by the way.

I think Quinn is jealous.

Quinn is jealous that you're so skinny now.

You beat Quinn.

Congratulations.


	5. Karofsky

I know I shouldn't be here.

I don't look at anyone as I walk to her room.

But I can feel it.

I can feel their eyes on me.

But I'm selfish.

Because.

Doing this.

Saying goodbye.

It's going to make me feel better.

Not her.

So, here I am.

I walk in the doorway, but I stop.

Because I can't move.

I'm glued to the spot.

Because it's weird.

It's weird seeing her.

Clean.

Seeing her clean.

Because she's usually covered in slushie.

And I almost cry.

I, Karofsky.

Almost cry.

Just at the sight of her.

Just at the sight of her tiny, lifeless body.

But I can't, not yet.

So I go over and whisper right in her ear.

I'm sorry.

_I'm sorry._

Then it all becomes too much.

I break.

I fall to the floor and sob.

And I start screaming.

I start chanting.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

And the nurses are pulling me away.

But I don't look at them.

I look at her.

I keep my eyes locked on Rachel.

I hope somewhere, somewhere inside her mind.

Somewhere inside her tiny, lifeless body.

She hears me.

And I hope she can forgive me.


	6. Mercedes

Mr. Schue will be the very last chapter!

The door is closed.

But I can't go in.

I just… can't.

Because…

She can't expect an answer from me.

She can't expect answers.

Saying sorry, it wouldn't mean anything.

Because I would be doing it for me. For me.

Not for her, not for Rachel Berry.

So, I place my hand on the cold wooden door.

And I walk away.

Just like that.


	7. Brittnay

I'm trying to find my place.

I'm trying to find my place in this hospital.

So I can say sorry.

Even if this isn't where I feel safe.

We all made mistakes.

I may be stupid.

Bu this I know for sure.

We learn to make mistakes.

So we can run away from them.

But I'm not running.

I'm not going to run away from her anymore.

I tell all of this to the sleeping girl in my arms.

That's what Santana told me.

She's sleeping, it's just….

She won't wake up.

Which is the part I don't understand.

Rachel.

I don't understand.

Do you remember when you tutored me?

You would explain things slowly so I could understand them.

Do you remember that Rachel?

Remember.

Because I need you to explain what's happening now.

I never hated you.

Not even a little.

I just thought that if I was nice to you.

I would lose Santana.

I would rather lose you than Santana.

Or that's the way I used to feel.

Because now I really am going to lose you.

And now, I'm not sure who I would rather lose.

Dream happy dreams Rachel.

Don't have nightmares in a world of hate.

Dream about rainbows and butterflies.

And everything will be okay.

I really am sorry.

I'm sorry you're the one who has to pay the price.

I don't know what Glee is going to do without you.

Because Rachel, you are Glee Club.

You deserved the solos.

All of them.

Even though I really wanted to sing that song by Ke$ha.

So even though you won't ever wake up.

Even though you're going to be in dreamland forever.

That's okay.

Because you will dream about rainbows and butterflies.

And everything will be okay.

With that.

I leave Rachel Berry to her dreams.


	8. Kurt

It's a shame.

It's a shame that I have to be here.

By your death bed because…

You really shouldn't be dying at all.

Karofsky kissed me.

We got in a screaming fight,

And

Well

He kissed me.

It's a shame.

The bullies start liking us, right after you leave.

Right after you start dying.

But, you were already dying.

So I guessed they waited until you couldn't see.

Until you couldn't see their kindness.

But, what I think.

You haven't ever really seen kindness.

Everyone has been rude.

Everyone has been mean.

Everyone has been ugly.

To all of us.

But especially to you.

It's a shame.

I'm not going to cry.

I'm not going to cry now Rachel.

I wouldn't do that to you.

I wouldn't disrespect you like that.

To make _you_ cry all of your life.

And then cry in front of you.

I'm not going to disrespect you like that.

I'm not going to say sorry either.

Because that would be for me.

To relieve my guilt.

It would be for me.

Not for you.

Even though we both know that I am.

But I did Rachel.

I did cry.

When they told us you were dying.

When you were never going to wake up.

I cried like a little boy.

Like the little gay boy I truly am.

Buy you never saw me as a gay.

You saw me as Kurt.

The boy you wanted to hate so bad.

But you never could.

You could never hate any of us.

And that's where it all started.

You didn't hate us.

We took advantage of you.

I took advantage of you.

I called you names.

I made fun of your sweaters.

Which may have been the worst thing of all.

Because you're sweaters are you.

Just like being gay is me.

And when you make fun of someone for who they truly are.

That's when you start to break.

That's when you start to crack.

But you never did.

You never did break.

In front of us at least.

But, then, we wouldn't have picked up the pieces.

It's a shame.

All of your talent is going to waste.

All of your love is going to waste.

All of you is going to be wasted.

It's a shame.


	9. Quinn

This isn't real.

I'm dreaming.

This can't be real.

I never got to say it.

I never got to say goodbye.

This can't be real.

I never got to say goodbye.

So.

I guess this is my only chance to say goodbye.

So I walk in her room.

With my head held high.

Like the supreme bitch that I really am.

I'm sorry Rachel.

I'm sorry you're dying.

I'm sorry you're dying and I'm not.

Because I deserve to die.

And you don't.

Because I'm the bitch.

And you're not.

So.

This has to be a dream.

You deserve Finn.

You really do.

He's on his way right now.

I'm scared for him Rachel.

He's trying to get here so fast.

I'm scared he won't be able to handle this.

Handle you dying.

I'm afraid it's going to break him.

Like your death is going to break the rest of us.

Just so you know.

Mike and Matt.

They aren't coming.

They told me to tell you sorry.

They said that they shouldn't come in.

Because they never stood up for you.

I just thought you should know.

You should also know.

I love you.

I love you like a sister.

I'm sorry your Mom adopted Beth.

I'm sorry your mom adopted my baby.

Because Rachel.

You could've been good enough.

You would have been good enough.

For her.

For Shelby.

For Broadway.

You could have been good enough for the whole world.

I wish I would have been nicer to you.

I was just so afraid.

If I was nice to you.

Nice to the loser.

That I would lose it.

Lose my popularity.

But even if I did.

Even if I did lose it.

I would've still had you.

That could have been enough.

You would have been enough Rachel.

I'm sorry.

I'm so, so, so sorry Rachel.

I'm sorry this is happening to you.

I was going to apologize.

I had it planned out and everything.

It's just.

I was too late.

You slipped away from me too fast.

You just.

Slipped out of my fingers.

This can't be real Rachel.

This has to be a dream.

Were in dreamland.

Yes, that's where we are.

But I'm going to have to leave.

But you.

You will be here forever.

So next time I fall asleep.

Come visit me.

Okay?

Goodbye Rachel.

Goodbye Rachel Berry.

I'll see you in dreamland.


	10. Finn

Oh God.

Oh God.

It's to much.

You're to much for me Rachel.

You always have been.

You've always been to big for me.

You're going places.

And Im not.

Or, you _were_ going places.

Now you're going to the morgue.

Isnt that ridiculous?

Isnt that the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard?

But you know Rachel?

I will throw myself on to your casket.

I will hold on to you until you're in the ground.

I _will_.

Because I know thats what you wanted.

The lights will go down.

And you will get what you always wanted.

The spotlight.

I love you.

I love you.

Oh God, I love you.

I was afraid I wasnt going to make it in time.

I was driving so fast.

I was afraid I would'nt make it in time.

Part of me,

Was afraid that I would crash.

I would crash in my car and I would never get to say goodbye.

But I made it.

I beat the traffic.

I won the race.

But I'm going to lose you.

And thats not worth any medal.

Why?

Why Rachel?

Why do you have to leave?

Why cant you stay?

Stay.

Stay Rachel.

Stay with me.

But I cant ask you.

I cant ask you to do that.

You've always been bigger than me.

You've always been going places.

But you're not going to Broadway.

Your going to the morgue.

So, yes.

I will give you one last big production.

All eyes will be on you.

In your last moments.

It will be phenomenal.

And everyone will have tears in their eyes.

One last show.

Rachel Berry's final performance.

HEY GUYS! I WILL FINISH THIS SERIES!


	11. Artie

You've always been short.

Only a foot taller than me.

When I'm in my wheelchair.

So its weird.

Being eye level with you.

Though you cant see me with your eyes at all.

So I hope you hear this.

I really hope you hear this.

You're annoying, and bossy.

And abrasive.

And a whole list of other bad things.

But Rachel.

That list was you.

And there are more good things on that list then bad.

And I love that list.

I just thought you should know,

I really, really, love that list.

I just thought you should know.


	12. Puck

God, Berry.

It wasnt enough.

It wasnt enough for you to be talking all the time.

For you to always be in my ear.

Now you're in my brain.

And that.

Is not cool at all.

Because I cant think,

I cant think about anything else.

So, just live ok?

Go back to being just in my ear.

Because you being in my brain.

Its messing me up.

ANd its making me freaking cry.

ANd Im a badass.

Badass' do NOT cry.

So just live.

...

Oh God Rachel.

Please live.

Dont die on me.

I love you being in my ear.

Even if it is really annoying.

I love it.

And I love you.

But I cant ask you to live.

Because ive always asked to much from you.

Just, try, ok?

Try to hold on.

Try to hold on to me.

IM SORRY! I know it sucked soooo bad!


	13. Shelby

My baby.

My baby is gone.

Gone forever.

Because you never were my baby, Rachel.

And you were never really _mine_, either.

But I still love you Rachel.

I'm sorry I pushed you away.

I'm sorry I didnt let you.

I didn't let you tell me you were dying.

But if you did.

If you did tell me.

I would've pushed harder.

Because your're not my baby.

You're all grown up.

But you're dying.

So you'll never get to be a grown up.

I'm sorry I hurt you Rachel.

We sang,

"Life Killed The Dream I Dreamed."

But I dreamed of you.

I dreamed of you Rachel.

And you're dying.

So I guess,

Death killed the dream I dreamed.

And that dream was you.


	14. Will LAST CHAPTER!

Oh Rachel, I whisper.

Oh Rachel.

Can you feel me, Rachel.

I'm laying next to you.

In your bed.

I'm holding you close.

I'm afraid Rachel.

I'm afraid to let go.

You're my daughter Rachel.

Or you're the closest thing I've ever had to a daughter.

And I love you.

I love you more than anything.

I'm sorry I never told you that.

I think thats all you ever really needed.

Was some attention.

No, not attention.

I think you needed love.

But I do love you Rachel.

You have always been a fighter.

You always fight so hard.

You have always been a winner.

But at some point.

You have to stop winning.

And you have to start losing.

So after you're gone Rachel.

After you've passed.

I'll tell your story.

I'll let you have the spotlight.

Even if you aren't really there.

I'll protect your locker from Sharpies.

I'll place fresh flowers there everyday.

I wont ever forget you Rachel.

But, who ever could.

I'll host an annual memorial.

For the glee club and I.

We'll watch your myspace videos.

And laugh at your memories.

Because you give the best memories of all.

Rachel, your not a loser.

So after you've gone.

I'll win for you.

I'll be you're winner.

But maybe thats the problem.

I'm fighting to hard for you.

And I need to learn.

I need to learn to let you go.

I have to.

I have to.

I have to let you go.

I can't hold onto you anymore Rachel.

Because if I do.

When you go.

I'm going to go down with you.

You always were our best singer Rachel.

I was just jealous.

Because one day.

You were going to big.

Bigger than I have ever been.

You were going to own the world.

And I can barely own a car.

But I know you've fought all day.

To stay alive.

To hear everyone say goodbye.

I'm the last one Rachel.

I know it hurts to stay alive.

It hurts to hold on.

So you can let go now.

You can go,

You can stop fighting.

And start winning.

I wont be mad.

Go sing sweet songs in heaven.

You can let go now.

Live on in another place.

A happier one where the spotlight is always on you.

Just know that,

I wont forget.

None of us will.

You can live in heaven.

But you will live on here to.

Let go Rachel.

I'm letting you go.

I'm setting you free.

So you don't have to fight anymore.

And you can be happy.

I'm setting you free.

I'm letting you go.

And with that.

Rachel Berry, gave her final performance.

And went perfectly still.


End file.
